*Here, Paul Elam is disagreeing with the contention that people are socialized to "hate" women, and instead, asserts that people are actually socialized to "hate" men.
I believe that his assertion is somewhat incorrect, or at the very least myopic and biased, for various reasons.
Generally, when it comes to the negative aspects of socialization that affect women and men (meaning, how we are typically raised to view each sex), it is more often that women are ascribed stigmas which relate to their perceived weaknesses, while men are more often ascribed stigmas which relate to their perceived strengths.
For instance, women are sometimes ascribed the stigmas of being too physically weak to perform difficult or demanding tasks - they need a man to do it, or they're emotionally unstable (having a higher EQ), unlike men, who are generally able to place reason before feelings (having a lower EQ), or women are unable to rationalize and reason to a level which is equivalent to that of men, or they're unable to comprehend various aspects of mathematics and science due to supposedly innate cognitive limitations.
These things are all stereotypes and stigmas (diminishing the status or perceived capabilities of women) - which is where people often derive the idea that these views and stereotypes imply a "hatred" (misogyny) or "dislike" for women, because they frequently involve women being too weak / incompetent in some way (innately) to perform tasks that come more easily (innately) to men.
While, with men, we generally find the opposite (they are held to a higher standard).
Men are more often mocked for perceived weaknesses that relate to being too feminine (like a woman). If they're too emotional, they're weak, because men are held to a higher standard than women when it comes to the societal allowance for their expressions of "feelings".
Men are supposed to be tough, logical, rational, reasonable and so forth - not "emotional" like women. This, of course, indirectly implies that women are overly-emotional, or unable to control their emotions, or are less reasonable and logical than men, or that characteristics typically attributed to women are beneath the standards of what "men" should be.
So, while men are sometimes mocked for this, this is not necessarily evidence that society socializes us to "hate" men, it is more evidence that society views feminine (like a woman) things as being contemptible when they are attributed to or exhibited by a man.
Now, when it comes to the bulk of what men experience, the perception is more one of "fear" than a definable "hatred". You can dislike things that you fear, but the two words are not the same, and our rationalizations of each feeling, even if they are fairly similar (hatred / fear), are also different.
Men are feared for their physical strength. People are more likely to fear that a man will rob / rape / murder them than a woman, because women are not generally ascribed a perception of being capable of great physical exertion, ability to cause harm or damage, aggressiveness, and so forth.
Women are generally weaker, and so these things are viewed as less of a threat from them. The likelihood of a woman committing one of these acts is also less often considered, due to the aforementioned stereotypes.
Women are generally weaker, men are generally stronger, and so one has more to fear from men.
This is not to say that these stereotypes or stigmas are absolutely or necessarily true, or that they are fair, but the general "fear" of men does not directly or even necessarily indirectly imply any sort of definable hatred or dislike (misandry), but more a fear of their strengths and capabilities - men's ability to cause harm and damage is perceived as being greater.
While, with women, the general perspective is more one of a "dislike" for their weaknesses - inability to do things which are physically demanding, inability to rationalize emotions, inability to comprehend things due to supposed cognitive limitations, and so forth.
This is where the distinction lies.
Once again, I am not stating that I agree with any of these stereotypes and stigmas, as they are quite general, but more often than not, men lie on the "fear" side of the socialization spectrum, while women lie more on the "contempt" side of the socialization spectrum.
Men | Women
Strengths | Weaknesses
Fear | Contempt
Et cetera.
Likewise, it probably does nothing for the general social perception of men that men so often engage in violence, frequently against other men.
For example, observe this list of violent shootings:
Note: Ages are listed as they were at the time of the incident.
Shootings:
January 10, 2013: Taft Union High School, San Joaquin Valley, California. (Name unknown, Age 16). Male. Zero killed.
January 5, 2013: Aurora, Colorado: (Unable to find name and age). Male. Three killed.
December 16, 2012: Mayan Palace Theater, San Antonio, Texas: Jesus Manuel Garcia, age 19. Male. Zero killed.
January 16, 2012: Appalachian School of Law: Peter Odighizuwa, age 43. Male. Three killed.
May 25, 2008: Winnemucca, Nevada: Ernesto Villagomez, age 30. Male. Two killed.
March 5, 2001: Santee, California: Charles Andrew “Andy” Williams, age 15. Male. Two killed.
April 24, 1998: Edinboro, Pennsylvania: Andrew Jerome Wurst, age 14. Male. One killed.
October 1, 1997: Pearl High School, Mississippi: Luke Woodham, age 16. Male. Two killed.
Mass Killings:
December 16, 2012: Newtown, Connecticut: Adam Lanza, Age 20. Male. Twenty-seven killed.
August 5, 2012: Sikh Temple, Oak Creek, Wisconsin: Wade Michael Page, age 40. Male. Six killed.
July 20, 2012: Aurora, Colorado: James Eagen Holmes, Age 25. Male. Twelve killed.
April 16, 2007: Virginia Tech, Blacksburg, Virginia: Seung-Hui Cho, Age 23. Male. Thirty-two killed.
October 2, 2006: Amish School, Lancaster County, Pennsylvania: Charles
Carl Roberts IV, Age 32. Male. Five killed (all little girls).
March 24, 1998: Westside Middle School, Craighead County, Ark: Mitchell
Johnson and Andrew Golden, Ages 14 and 12. Male. Five killed (four
little girls, one female teacher).
April 20, 1992: Columbine High School, Columbine, Colorado: Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold, Ages 18 and 17. Male. Twelve killed.
.
.
.
One would be hard pressed to find this many female shooters on any list comparable to the one above.
For the greater majority of all shootings, and in fact all violent crimes (approximately 90%), men are the primary participants / perpetrators, and even the primary victims.
Once again, for example, observe these crimes statistics:
(U.S. 2000-2007. CLICK TO ENLARGE.)
(U.S. 2000-2007. CLICK TO ENLARGE.)
2000
2001
2002
2003
2004
2005
2006
2007
.
.
.
In every instance, males are the overwhelming majority of those who
commit violent crimes, and we also know that men are often a great
number of the victims of violent crimes as well.
Most crimes are male-on-male or male-on-female.
This is supplementary to the general fear of men that comes through socialization. People fear what men can enact, what they are capable of, people fear their strengths and perceived abilities, and people ridicule them for not living up to the higher standards that society has set for men.
The only thing, out of all of these things, that could be considered contempt-through-socialization, is the criticism that men receive for not being "manly" enough, but even then, this implicit derision is one which stems from men exhibiting traits that are deemed "too feminine" (like a woman), or "beneath" the status and or existence of a man.
Women are generally not feared for what they can do, because once again, the stigmas attached to women are most often ones which relate to contempt for their weaknesses, and some of this disdain carries over to men who display similar characteristics.
I would like to reiterate that this post is not in agreement or disagreement with any of the previously discussed stereotypes and stigmas, and of course all of these things are essentially my opinion, but I am explaining society and socialization, at least primarily in so-called developed nations, as I see it.
Men | Women
Strengths | Weaknesses
Fear | Contempt
This is also not to say that there is no hatred of men in society, but merely that most of the negativity towards men relates more to a fear of their capabilities than to a definable "hatred" of them for their sex.
I could expound further, but I believe that this will suffice for now.
Thank you all for reading, and have a wonderful day.
Sincerely,
Femitheist
Most crimes are male-on-male or male-on-female.
This is supplementary to the general fear of men that comes through socialization. People fear what men can enact, what they are capable of, people fear their strengths and perceived abilities, and people ridicule them for not living up to the higher standards that society has set for men.
The only thing, out of all of these things, that could be considered contempt-through-socialization, is the criticism that men receive for not being "manly" enough, but even then, this implicit derision is one which stems from men exhibiting traits that are deemed "too feminine" (like a woman), or "beneath" the status and or existence of a man.
Women are generally not feared for what they can do, because once again, the stigmas attached to women are most often ones which relate to contempt for their weaknesses, and some of this disdain carries over to men who display similar characteristics.
I would like to reiterate that this post is not in agreement or disagreement with any of the previously discussed stereotypes and stigmas, and of course all of these things are essentially my opinion, but I am explaining society and socialization, at least primarily in so-called developed nations, as I see it.
Men | Women
Strengths | Weaknesses
Fear | Contempt
This is also not to say that there is no hatred of men in society, but merely that most of the negativity towards men relates more to a fear of their capabilities than to a definable "hatred" of them for their sex.
I could expound further, but I believe that this will suffice for now.
Thank you all for reading, and have a wonderful day.
Sincerely,
Femitheist
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